the Goon Show LIVE!

Poor Nugent Dirt – indeed he was hairless. The Phantom Head Shaver had struck.

Poor Nugent Dirt – indeed he was hairless. The Phantom Head Shaver had struck.

On August 14, 2015, Posted by , In Goon Show Quotes, With Comments Off on Poor Nugent Dirt – indeed he was hairless. The Phantom Head Shaver had struck.
John Stretton is Peter Sellers in The Goon Show LIVE!

John Stretton is Peter Sellers in The Goon Show LIVE!

GREENSLADE: Poor Nugent Dirt – indeed he was hairless. The Phantom Head Shaver had struck. The day after, I, Wallace Greenslade, opened a little tobacco kiosk. It was that week that Nugent Dirt was taken to court by his wife.

CAST: [Courtroom murmurs]

FX: [Three loud gavel bangs]

USHER: Silence in court – silence! The court will now stand for Judge Schnorrer… And if you’ll stand for him you’ll stand for anything.

JUDGE SCHNORRER: Alright, alright, get seated and let the mularky start.

USHER: M’lud – first case – Mrs. Dirt versus Mr. Dirt. Mrs. Prunella Dirt?

MRS DIRT: Yes, mate?

USHER: Raise yer right hand and yer left leg. Now, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

MRS DIRT: I do.

USHER: Well, you ain’t gonna get far.